Saturday, May 8, 2010
Gut wrenching emotion transmuted into peace with tears.finally a decent offer for the building.I don't want to do this anymore but I promised Brittany I would not abandon her with this mess .I knew it would take a year to come to a close but it looks like it will take longer.Please Dear God let this man buy it.I'm so up and down i understand what bi-poler feels like.so tired of it all but afraid to let it go.can someone else do what I do as effectively as me,I doubt it.what is my fixation with being the hero or fixer of this mess. well it's not like anyone else has stepped up to the plate.It has to be done.Why Mike Why? why didn't you ask for help ,why didn't you leave,why did you give up?with the memorial meeting this friday Brittany wants me to give the lead on mine and Mike's life combined. aught to be interesting ,haven't thought of some of those crazy years much till now.I hope I can meet her expectations with what I say.I also hope I don't start balling and then can't compose myself to finish.Fear always at my side to lead me to doubt.My psychic abilities have grown and clarified.with ease I can predict human behavior. My readings are 1 day in the future.Where's the lottery numbers Mike so I can do this full time.It's very interesting where this is taking me.Did my brother sacrifice his life so we could all grow spiritually? I donno ,it's easier to take if I try to believe that sometimes.To my brother Mike Norton: I miss you,I love you and I will keep working with Brittany for you....and anything else you need me to do. Nora Norton
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
why is everything falling apart. life was so steady 1 month ago.were all raw with Mike's death anniversary coming in ten days. Marge has been especially challenged by Brittany's new defiant attitude and life style. good for her,going AWOL ,just like I did after my mom died suddenly.but she has to deal with the fact that the killers stole her dad from her,that it wasn't a natural death,not his time.This new and dangerous boyfriend is so controlling and manipulative she can't see through it. It's gut-wrenching to stand by and watch,powerless to change any of it.Why can't she see through his bullshit lies,doesn't she want to? sometimes we don't we prefer the distraction from our reality.crazy is better than sad and depressed.I agree,but the consequences could be massive.My daughter had one of her psychic dreams that he will physically hurt her. I believe it. He defends his crazy lifestyle even to me on the phone yesterday.God help us .when will my life not suck?let me rephrase that:soon this building will sell,she will come to her senses,and we can all safely get on with our lives!!!!!!!!
Monday, May 3, 2010
Brittany is self-destructing now and there is nothing I can do for her.when my mom died I ran from the pain also.such a sweet smart girl risking everything because of pain. counselling doesn't seem to be helping only enabling.the problem is all the lying we never get to the truth.there is no place to hide when were truthful,but it's more peaceful and you don't have to remember all your bullshit lies.I started yoga exercise and meditation.the stress is more than I can bear so I workout and then hold still for 10 minutes and hope I don't have a nervous breakdown.also her new boyfriend is really scary and creepy and a criminal and a DJ.he is too much trouble for her I hope she wakes up. She totaled her latest car running into the back of a semi-truck. wow not hurt but woah 4th or 5th accident already,girl put down the phone! marge is crumbling under the weight of this task also. she thought she was having a nervous breakdown. where is the help we need,where are my other siblings? why don't they care? please Dear God sell this beast of a building so we all can get out of this mess.by the way, the third gang boy that went into kill mike is not around anymore,i wonder why?1 in jail 2 to go......
We had to cancell the prayer vigil by mike's store because Earthquake is still all over owning that block with his gang.several people told me he was the shooter but with his family police connections it will take american most wanted to break the case.locals sweep it under the rug.the residents are as afraid of the police as they are of the gangs.1 witness was paraded past gang members on the way to drop her off after they tried to manipulate her into changing her testimony. so she went into hiding,she refused the witness protection money because when they relocate you everyone knows where you are she said.this game is getting scary now that i want to live again.please dear God get me out of there,soon.one time when one of the tenants were telling the police that Earthquake killed my brother the next day he was jumped and they broke a vertebrae in his neck and back.how did it get back from the police to the gangs that fast.another tenant was threatened with death by Earthquake if they testified,I called the cops and they had a talk with him.Last I heard they(cops and gangs) are on the same side.the city of chicago is in utter chaos.35 minites it took the police to get to me when I was being threatened by that drunk tenant we evicted.Why 35 minutes,don't they care?
crumbling under the weight of this task. strange new assignments keep popping up. It's been almost a year mike when will this be over.oziz has placed a bid and we accepted,but he has to get a loan.please God get him approved,he has the 25% down payment.my emotions are raw ,my friendships strained to the point of I lost some.feeling very alone and overwhelmed most of the time.some times i wish they would shoot me too so i don't have to feel this pain,hurt and grief.Brittany needs me and so do my kids.so i put 1 foot in front of the other and continue to try and wrap up this mess.found a new renter for bar and upstairs apt.fully rented again.I still send my ex to collect the rent in case they want to kill for money.LOL mike's last income tax is due and i still can't find that credit card payment and make those life insurance assholes pay.soo many cards and accounts.a womans work is never done.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
very emotional weekend,happy easter,i miss spring break already. tough lessons learned. mike guide me in what to do.please send a buyer for the building i can't do this anymore,please God get me out of there.jesus saves,well please save me,help me get finished with this burden and move forward with my life.marge is getting other estimates for structural engineering,restaurant owners insurance does not want 2 pay for fire damage because they say there was another fire before(true) and it wasn't repaired properly,so they want to make our insurance pay for it.will the bullshit ever end.the new store owner ripped up and remodeled store without permits and took building manager sign down which is another building violation.when will the stupidity end.i'm so tired ,I'm so spent,i'm so done,please God get me out of here
Thursday, April 1, 2010
research paper will be on the complexities of murder.what pushes people that far? what mental states justify and rationalize this behavior? why do they almost always deny it? I had a co-worker,Jane Reth, who was extradited to Alaska for her husbands murder 22 years ago.I don't understand how people go that far and are not sorry!ANYHEW stress crash lasted three day,then i felt resurrected into another dimension.....is someone drugging me....I feel peaceful,more peaceful than i've ever felt before. It's very distracting, can't stay focused on anything,but it's good to have a break from that crushing emotional pain and helplessness from Mike's murder.It will be some kind of miracle if I ever get my shit together again......